So I usually get outta night shift around 1 am. But the night that I was supposed to take Chloe to get her wisdom teeth out at 7 am...I didn't get done until 2:30 am. Then I came home and was starving and so I and ate a huge bowl of pasta and didn't go to bed until 4:30 am. I had to get up at 6:30 am to take her so I didn't sleep.
At 7:30, in the oral surgeons office, I asked casually about how they were going to sedate her. The receptionist looked at me and told me her "sedation specialist" would be out to speak with me.
A guy named Jay came out and told me that they were using propanol,versed,fentanyl and ketamine.
I almost fainted. I have been a pediatrician 20 years and only use those drugs to sedate a person in a situation where I have nurses, a respiratory therapist, an on location anesthesiologist, and other MD's around in case I have a child who has an anesthesia complication.
I was a little strung out because of no sleep when I asked to speak to the oral surgeon doing the procedure. I made him go through his whole training. Then questioned him to the point that he showed me every drug in his office. Then,all of his airway tools. I asked him to make sure the light worked on all laryngoscopes ( used to put breathing tubes in unconscious people) . He showed me monitors, defibrillator pads and defibrillator.
I asked to be in there during the procedure. As I walked by his tray of tools I mostly wanted to take Chloe and run. He said "No" to me being in the room during procedure ( good for him).
He had that look on his face like he wanted to poke me in the eye but was placating me because I was a doc in the community and he didn't want me to say bad things about him.
His assistant, Amy, looked at me like I might have needed to be escorted out by security.
Chloe, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber. She looked at Doc and his staff...Jay and Amy, and said... "My mom is having an anxiety attack. She always freaks out if one of us is sick or hurt.".
This is the same child who just two years ago was so embarrassed by my very presence that she made me drop her off at high school ....500 ft away from entrance so no one would see me. The same child that banned me from going to any sports event where she was cheering. The same daughter that begged me to GO TO BED if she had friends over. The one that would NOT let us have dinner at any restaurant on Flagler Ave because someone from her school might work at the restaurant.
It is true. The child that worships the ground you walk on as a baby through about 10 years old ....thinks you are the biggest doofus ever as age 11 hits.
Then miraculously...same kid has an epiphany and puts up with your parent anxiety and actually wants to be around you....
Why? How?
All I can say is that when Chloe wanted her space from me...I let her. Was I hurt? Not really. I knew I would be beside her even in the background. I let her know that I was there for her and even though she was mortified by my very presence...I continued to ask about her life and friends and offer to take her and her friends places and do anything she asked of me to make her life amazing. And YES I did sign up for this when I found out I was pregnant with her.
So many parents bust their ass to accommodate their kids when they are little. Soccer parents. ..Dance and cheer parents. Going to every event. ..Buying every uniform and driving to every event and joining every parent group.
But what do we do when they grow out of travel soccer and out of competitive cheer? How do we support our pre-teen and teen when they don't want us but still NEED us?
It is so easy to be let down as a parent. We are so easily hurt by our children's denial of us and apparent disgust towards us. All adolescents go through a transition from child to adult that starts early. Unfortunately, puberty...along with all the physical changes...causes emotional changes as well. It seems unfair to have a rush of hormones descend upon a perfectly happy little girl or little boy.
If WE are having a rough time with it then think about how THEY feel. All of a sudden....looks matter....body shape matters...popularity matters...clothes matter....
An imaginary audience of everyone looking at them and judging them for everything.
I see so many parents freak out about their "baby" being defiant and questioning their authority as they transition from concrete thinkers to abstract thinkers. These parents think that it is time to tighten the reigns and draw that child back into the "child" instead of fostering the adolescent that they are becoming. NO FACEBOOK>>>NO INSTAGRAM>>>NO SNAPCHAT>>>...Anything to keep them a child.
That is a mistake. Go with them into this transition. Gain their trust. Let hem know as they enter social media that you will be there for them. Let them know and understand the boundaries. They will fuck up. When they do...EXPLAIN...
Don't rush to judge as they will already feel judged by their peers. Lay down some boundaries early that you explore WITH them so they understand the potential consequences. If they have situations that are a little boundarish....by all means let them know... that it is ok... to let you know so you can trouble shoot with them ahead of time.
My Chloe went from being totally mortified by my very existence to calmly letting me freak out in front of very competent colleagues because I have supported her through her adolescence so far and communicated with her for the whole 6 or 7 years through thick and thin. She trusts me and I have been by her side and her advocate no matter what.
Easy to love and care for them when they are babies and children and rely on you for everything. More challenging to love and care for them as they grow into young adults. The lines are not as black and white.
Chloe's surgery went well. The Doc shook my hand but still must be shaking his head at me. The assistant Amy ended up hugging me.
I'm absolutely losing it that she is leaving for college. We both cry. But, just like I was strong on the day she went to kindergarten and achieved every other milestone, I will be strong for this transition.
Love your adolescents... they will soon be adultsish.
Monday, July 24, 2017
Monday, February 6, 2017
JIC-....Not for the faint hearted as it contains bad words and acts.
TEXT
Mommy to Chloe (Coco)--- It's going to rain. don't forget your umbrella JIC
Coco--- Ok. BTW what is JIC ?
Mommy--- Just In Case.
Coco--- Mom, That's not a thing.
Mommy--- Yeah it is, like LMFAO or WTF or LOL
Coco--- No mom , "JIC" is something you made up.
Mommy--- Yeah, but it's easier than writing "Just in case"....anyway LOVE YOU!!! B
Coco--- B?
Mommy--- Bye.."B" stands for "Bye".
Coco--- No MOM...it's just a "B". It could mean anything.
Mommy--- What else could it have meant?
Coco--- KMILYVMIBMU
Mommy--- WTF is THAT gibberish?
Coco--- That is what it would look like if I just text 1st letters of every word to you.
It stands for, " K MOM I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. I BROUGHT MY UMBRELLA."
Mommy--- UOENO------That's a song by Wiz Khalifa
Coco--- How would you even know that UOENO means "You don't even know"? And more...How do you know it's by Wiz Khalifa????
Mommy--- UOENO !
Coco--MOM!!!
Mommy--- Look, mostly I just didn't want you to get wet. I just wanted you to bring your umbrella to school JIC.
Coco--- OMG
Mommy-......JIC....
Communication...with my older girls is essential and often not well done. I work over 40 hours per week and Chloe and Liza go to high school full time ( ish). Chloe has a social life comparable to Kate Middleton and we often can go days without communicating.
I also am not privy to their "Snapchat" stories or "Instagrams" or "Tumblers"... Although..I recently found that I have many followers on my " Instagram" which I don't have ( thank you Ruby).
When I was 18 , I was already in college and in addition to attending "pre- med" classes, was following the Grateful Dead without the benefit of any cellphone or snap chat or Facebook or Instagram . I think my parents were in ignorant bliss.
I remember coming home from a long weekend of "concert going" to my mom's house and being sick as hell. She told me to go see my family medicine doc...Dr. Lewis..
I had the worst sore throat and fever. My throat had ulcers and my head hurt and I was dragging !!
I got home and she said.. " Well, what did he say?"...I said..."He told me I had a 'cock sucking virus' and that it would eventually get better...'Mom... I can tell you.. I'M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN if it makes me feel this sick!' "
She looked at me very bewildered.
She told me she would be right back and immediately called the Family Medicine Clinic ( no HIPPA rules back then I guess).
She came back and calmly explained that he said that I had a "COXSACKIE VIRUS" which was named after a town in upstate NewYork. She started to tell me that it nothing to do with anything I had done on my camping/concert trip and then just stopped and said that I should rest and that she would bring me some tea.
Well then......
So, Chloe is getting ready to go to a "Rap" concert in Miami in May with friends. Guess which mom will be driving her to said concert and picking her up at the end??? Same mom that with be rooming with her and friends in nice hotel room.
I don't know what I will do in August when she goes off to college. There is a "Find my Friend" app that can track her down to the address where she is.. that she has actually said would be OK for us to share.
She and Liza and I communicate. Not as much as we want ( or at least I want) but there is no fear of repercussion. Let me keep you safe and informed and in return you keep me in the loop. Coco actually is looking forward to me coming with her to Miami concert ( not that I will be attending by choice) and I am looking forward to spending time and communicating with my first Kitten.
Mommy to Chloe (Coco)--- It's going to rain. don't forget your umbrella JIC
Coco--- Ok. BTW what is JIC ?
Mommy--- Just In Case.
Coco--- Mom, That's not a thing.
Mommy--- Yeah it is, like LMFAO or WTF or LOL
Coco--- No mom , "JIC" is something you made up.
Mommy--- Yeah, but it's easier than writing "Just in case"....anyway LOVE YOU!!! B
Coco--- B?
Mommy--- Bye.."B" stands for "Bye".
Coco--- No MOM...it's just a "B". It could mean anything.
Mommy--- What else could it have meant?
Coco--- KMILYVMIBMU
Mommy--- WTF is THAT gibberish?
Coco--- That is what it would look like if I just text 1st letters of every word to you.
It stands for, " K MOM I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. I BROUGHT MY UMBRELLA."
Mommy--- UOENO------That's a song by Wiz Khalifa
Coco--- How would you even know that UOENO means "You don't even know"? And more...How do you know it's by Wiz Khalifa????
Mommy--- UOENO !
Coco--MOM!!!
Mommy--- Look, mostly I just didn't want you to get wet. I just wanted you to bring your umbrella to school JIC.
Coco--- OMG
Mommy-......JIC....
Communication...with my older girls is essential and often not well done. I work over 40 hours per week and Chloe and Liza go to high school full time ( ish). Chloe has a social life comparable to Kate Middleton and we often can go days without communicating.
I also am not privy to their "Snapchat" stories or "Instagrams" or "Tumblers"... Although..I recently found that I have many followers on my " Instagram" which I don't have ( thank you Ruby).
When I was 18 , I was already in college and in addition to attending "pre- med" classes, was following the Grateful Dead without the benefit of any cellphone or snap chat or Facebook or Instagram . I think my parents were in ignorant bliss.
I remember coming home from a long weekend of "concert going" to my mom's house and being sick as hell. She told me to go see my family medicine doc...Dr. Lewis..
I had the worst sore throat and fever. My throat had ulcers and my head hurt and I was dragging !!
I got home and she said.. " Well, what did he say?"...I said..."He told me I had a 'cock sucking virus' and that it would eventually get better...'Mom... I can tell you.. I'M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN if it makes me feel this sick!' "
She looked at me very bewildered.
She told me she would be right back and immediately called the Family Medicine Clinic ( no HIPPA rules back then I guess).
She came back and calmly explained that he said that I had a "COXSACKIE VIRUS" which was named after a town in upstate NewYork. She started to tell me that it nothing to do with anything I had done on my camping/concert trip and then just stopped and said that I should rest and that she would bring me some tea.
Well then......
So, Chloe is getting ready to go to a "Rap" concert in Miami in May with friends. Guess which mom will be driving her to said concert and picking her up at the end??? Same mom that with be rooming with her and friends in nice hotel room.
I don't know what I will do in August when she goes off to college. There is a "Find my Friend" app that can track her down to the address where she is.. that she has actually said would be OK for us to share.
She and Liza and I communicate. Not as much as we want ( or at least I want) but there is no fear of repercussion. Let me keep you safe and informed and in return you keep me in the loop. Coco actually is looking forward to me coming with her to Miami concert ( not that I will be attending by choice) and I am looking forward to spending time and communicating with my first Kitten.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
unsolicited pediatric advice: DMV- Devalue Mommy's VeracityDMV-Dig Mullets Vehe...
unsolicited pediatric advice: DMV- Devalue Mommy's Veracity
DMV-Dig Mullets Vehe...: DMV- Devalue Mommy's Veracity DMV-Dig Mullets Vehemently DMV- Ditch My Very-important polar pop DMV-Disable My Validity When I thin...
DMV-Dig Mullets Vehe...: DMV- Devalue Mommy's Veracity DMV-Dig Mullets Vehemently DMV- Ditch My Very-important polar pop DMV-Disable My Validity When I thin...
DMV- Devalue Mommy's Veracity
DMV-Dig Mullets Vehemently
DMV- Ditch My Very-important polar pop
DMV-Disable My Validity
When I think about the Department of Motor Vehicles...aka..DMV.. I picture long lines, waiting, boredom, mullets, poor dentition, desperation and anxiety.
It all started for me as a teenager. My dad came into my room and announced.." Ok , It is your birthday and time to get your license"..
I replied. ..."NO..I'm not ready..Mostly, I can't drive."
Please read in Indian accent..." This does not matter, I did surgery on the older man who does the testing and it will be ok. He is pervert and you are pretty."
After endless waiting and hideous paperwork it was my special moment. I did everything by the book mostly and the old perv stared my boobs the whole time. I could've run over his sister and he wouldn't have noticed.
Perfect score on test.
Since then, some things haven't changed much. Still long lines, ridiculous paper work and the occasional pervert administering driving tests.
When I moved to Florida, I dreaded the whole "RE- DMV" experience.
I felt blessed that I didn't have to go to the giant Daytona DMV amidst the mullets and the blind and the demented elderly and the former DUI candidates.
There existed a cozy little DMV in an off shoot of NSB called Edgewater. It is about the size of my bathroom. No wait. Every form is a pre -rec on line. Not a toothless, DUI, blind, demented or "mulleted" person in sight. The person giving the driving test was not even a pedophillic pervert.
Little did I know that I was entering into a room of control, conspiracy and "cloak and dagger" operation.
On line was a casual and vague description of what I needed to get Liza's " learner's permit". This was the beginning of the game...the dance...the battle...the war...
I walked in to cozy DMV with Liza and my Circle K Polar Pop and a lifetime of documents in hand. I wasn't five feet into the facility when a bearded man behind the desk loudly announced..." Ma'am..PLEASE DISCARD YOUR DRINK!!!DID YOU NOT READ THE SIGN? NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED!!"!!!""!!!
I apologized and returned Polar "Popless" to the small line.
I then took out my phone and began texting Whitney ( super nanny) that I would pick up a few groceries on the way home. Bearded man loudly interrupted my text saying .." Ma'am...THERE IS NO CELL PHONE USE INSIDE THE BUILDING!!!!".
Liza was beet red and I was mortified. I mumbled an apology and stuffed phone with 1/2 written text into my purse. Apparently this gesture "butt dialed" super nanny and phone rang loudly with her special " Crazy Bitch " ring tone.
Evil look from "Beard".
We arrived to bearded man's station and stated our purpose. He asked for documents with an evil gleam in his eye. I produced said documentation and he said loudly.. "HA!!!! Birth certificate is a COPY..not original!!!It must be original like it says ONLINE.. ( I think his thought cloud called me a dumbass).
Eliza shrank and I lowered my eyes and said " Uh..ok...Guess we'll try again..."..
It took me a month to procure original birth certificate and another month to get the courage to go back to cozy DMV.
Liza and I walked into DMV for round 2. No polar pop ...cell phone successfully silenced and documents in hand.
We waited politely while praying we wouldn't get "Beard". But we got "Beard". I cautiously approached and and announced our request to get Liza's permit. He painstakingly went through the documents and triumphantly announced that .."THE SS CARD MUST BE AN ORIGINAL!!"....
Her SS card had been in another file to get her passport ( which FYI was easier to get than her learner's permit).
Defeated again. "Beard" couldn't wipe the look of satisfaction off his face as we walked out....with our heads hung low ..without polar pops or working cell phones.
Liza stared at me the whole way home as if I were intellectually challenged.
I am a board certified pediatrician who saves lives for a living in the emergency dept. I am a smart and successful single mother of 4 girls who has been TAKEN DOWN by the Edgewater DMV times 2.
I think there is a button in the work area of each Edgewater DMV employee station that each employee gets to push whenever they get to send someone away without the patron achieving their stated purpose.
I'm sure that each time the button is pressed ...that employee gets a bonus.
Ok..The third time I showed up to the Edgewater DMV, I had my rolling file case
, no polar pop, silenced cell phoned and my head held high.
Beard and I locked eyes. " Produce the documents" ...He said in a flat but provokish manner.. I produced...and after what felt like evolution had occurred he said.. " Ok..The documents appear to be in order...let us proceed.."..
I let out a deep sigh of relief as though I had just been told that I did't have Chlamydia and proceeded to get Liza's permit.
Talk about VETTING!! Trump should hire Beard and his cronies to find the terrorists among the many. Then there would be no restriction on people entering the US.
As fun as it has been to write about Edgewater DMV, on a real note, it is satisfying to know that there are sticklers for appropriate documents and rules and regulations so that inappropriate drivers are not on the road with my 18 and 15 year old young drivers.
As challenging as it has been, it is worth the effort to have legal and safe drivers on the road thanks to " Beard" who most likely still gets a kickback.
DMV-Dig Mullets Vehemently
DMV- Ditch My Very-important polar pop
DMV-Disable My Validity
When I think about the Department of Motor Vehicles...aka..DMV.. I picture long lines, waiting, boredom, mullets, poor dentition, desperation and anxiety.
It all started for me as a teenager. My dad came into my room and announced.." Ok , It is your birthday and time to get your license"..
I replied. ..."NO..I'm not ready..Mostly, I can't drive."
Please read in Indian accent..." This does not matter, I did surgery on the older man who does the testing and it will be ok. He is pervert and you are pretty."
After endless waiting and hideous paperwork it was my special moment. I did everything by the book mostly and the old perv stared my boobs the whole time. I could've run over his sister and he wouldn't have noticed.
Perfect score on test.
Since then, some things haven't changed much. Still long lines, ridiculous paper work and the occasional pervert administering driving tests.
When I moved to Florida, I dreaded the whole "RE- DMV" experience.
I felt blessed that I didn't have to go to the giant Daytona DMV amidst the mullets and the blind and the demented elderly and the former DUI candidates.
There existed a cozy little DMV in an off shoot of NSB called Edgewater. It is about the size of my bathroom. No wait. Every form is a pre -rec on line. Not a toothless, DUI, blind, demented or "mulleted" person in sight. The person giving the driving test was not even a pedophillic pervert.
Little did I know that I was entering into a room of control, conspiracy and "cloak and dagger" operation.
On line was a casual and vague description of what I needed to get Liza's " learner's permit". This was the beginning of the game...the dance...the battle...the war...
I walked in to cozy DMV with Liza and my Circle K Polar Pop and a lifetime of documents in hand. I wasn't five feet into the facility when a bearded man behind the desk loudly announced..." Ma'am..PLEASE DISCARD YOUR DRINK!!!DID YOU NOT READ THE SIGN? NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED!!"!!!""!!!
I apologized and returned Polar "Popless" to the small line.
I then took out my phone and began texting Whitney ( super nanny) that I would pick up a few groceries on the way home. Bearded man loudly interrupted my text saying .." Ma'am...THERE IS NO CELL PHONE USE INSIDE THE BUILDING!!!!".
Liza was beet red and I was mortified. I mumbled an apology and stuffed phone with 1/2 written text into my purse. Apparently this gesture "butt dialed" super nanny and phone rang loudly with her special " Crazy Bitch " ring tone.
Evil look from "Beard".
We arrived to bearded man's station and stated our purpose. He asked for documents with an evil gleam in his eye. I produced said documentation and he said loudly.. "HA!!!! Birth certificate is a COPY..not original!!!It must be original like it says ONLINE.. ( I think his thought cloud called me a dumbass).
Eliza shrank and I lowered my eyes and said " Uh..ok...Guess we'll try again..."..
It took me a month to procure original birth certificate and another month to get the courage to go back to cozy DMV.
Liza and I walked into DMV for round 2. No polar pop ...cell phone successfully silenced and documents in hand.
We waited politely while praying we wouldn't get "Beard". But we got "Beard". I cautiously approached and and announced our request to get Liza's permit. He painstakingly went through the documents and triumphantly announced that .."THE SS CARD MUST BE AN ORIGINAL!!"....
Her SS card had been in another file to get her passport ( which FYI was easier to get than her learner's permit).
Defeated again. "Beard" couldn't wipe the look of satisfaction off his face as we walked out....with our heads hung low ..without polar pops or working cell phones.
Liza stared at me the whole way home as if I were intellectually challenged.
I am a board certified pediatrician who saves lives for a living in the emergency dept. I am a smart and successful single mother of 4 girls who has been TAKEN DOWN by the Edgewater DMV times 2.
I think there is a button in the work area of each Edgewater DMV employee station that each employee gets to push whenever they get to send someone away without the patron achieving their stated purpose.
I'm sure that each time the button is pressed ...that employee gets a bonus.
Ok..The third time I showed up to the Edgewater DMV, I had my rolling file case
, no polar pop, silenced cell phoned and my head held high.
Beard and I locked eyes. " Produce the documents" ...He said in a flat but provokish manner.. I produced...and after what felt like evolution had occurred he said.. " Ok..The documents appear to be in order...let us proceed.."..
I let out a deep sigh of relief as though I had just been told that I did't have Chlamydia and proceeded to get Liza's permit.
Talk about VETTING!! Trump should hire Beard and his cronies to find the terrorists among the many. Then there would be no restriction on people entering the US.
As fun as it has been to write about Edgewater DMV, on a real note, it is satisfying to know that there are sticklers for appropriate documents and rules and regulations so that inappropriate drivers are not on the road with my 18 and 15 year old young drivers.
As challenging as it has been, it is worth the effort to have legal and safe drivers on the road thanks to " Beard" who most likely still gets a kickback.
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