There are so many things in life that we chose. I am one of those people that, when I choose something ... I am READY for whatever comes my way.
I chose to be a mom and a Doc. I was ready. I chose to accept the responsibility of taking care of children... Mine and others..
I am not, however, ready for Chloe to drive things.
For God's sake... The honor student still struggles with left and right. She asked me to help her with her online driver's test and WE FAILED!!
She says she is "left footed" and would enjoy putting her right foot on the gas pedal and her left foot on the brake.
When asked, she emphatically says that the hardest part of driving is steering.
I will never EVER be the same when Chloe gets her license. The brain doesn't fully mature until the mid 20's. Who's idea was it to allow 16 year olds to drive things?!?!?!
You have to be 18 to smoke and vote... Neither of which will kill you or others immediately.
You have to be 21 to drink alcohol which still comes before complete brain development.
I just read a journal article that concluded that teens with ADHD were more likely to be distracted when driving. DUH!! Really? They got a grant to study THAT??
But, there is no restriction that mandates that kids with untreated ADHD can't drive. All 16 year old teens are easily distracted!!
I haven't seen Chloe without her phone in 2 years. Do I think she will put it down to drive?? Hell no!!
Ok.. Back to the I'm not ready thing..
The day I turned 16, my dad woke me up and said ( please read this part with an Indian accent) " Hello.. Happy Birthday.. Let's go to DMV and get your license."
"No!! I'm not ready Daddy.. I can't drive..!!!"
He said " It is ok .. You will learn."
My dad was a super busy surgeon at the time and my mom lived an hour away so I didn't get much driving time.
I took drivers education ... So I theoretically knew how to drive. We had to drive twice with an instructor to pass drivers ed. He popped in a Led Zeppelin tape and lit up a joint while I drove around Cumberland for an hour.
That does not an experienced driver make.
Anyway, my dad told me to wear a tank top because the driving part of the test was given by an old patient of his who was a dirty old man. I'm sure my dad palmed him a 50$ bill to pass me.
But, alas... I passed it. The next day my dad threw me the keys to the Chevy Citation and said " Ok.. Bye.. I am going in to round ."
I looked at him and asked how Ram and I were getting to school. I just didn't get it.
He told me to go slow and stay on my side of the road.
I wasn't ready but it was do or die and I eventually learned.
Everyone who also drives makes fun of my driving. The poor people I gave birth to don't know any better. They think I'm good at it. I haven't wrecked a lot. I mean I've hit things like mail boxes and garages and grazed one pedestration ( our word for pedestrian) .
My dad was so happy not to have to drive us that he let me drive EVERYWHERE!! To DC, Ocean City, Morgantown...
I just followed his simple suggestion. Go slow and stay on my side of the road.
I've been driving now more than I haven't been driving.. Almost 30 years.
Ok.. I'm just going to tell Chloe.. Go slow and stay on your side of the road.
I'm still not ready.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Floridian lifestyle
I love my new location! Florida is an amazing change from Morgantown, WV.
The weather here has enabled us to be outside everyday on our bikes and skateboards and surfboards etc.
When I say "us" I mean mostly ... Them... Those 4 girls that I gave birth to 15, 12, 8 and 6 years ago.
And always the 2 dogs who THINK I gave birth to them.
Don't get me wrong. I had my moment on a skateboard. I stood on Ruby's penny board while holding Batman's leash.. Yes.. I said.. "Batman".. And he ran like only a bat dog could run while I held on for dear life as the scenery passed me by... Until he took a wicked right into the direction of the Italian restaurant and it's glorious meatball smells.
I did 986 moves not to fall.. And I didn't ..I just landed really hard on my left leg.
2 weeks later I was telling myself that it was a bad sprain as I hobbled into X-ray .
Ok.. A broken fibula. Could be worse. That's not such an important bone ...non-weight bearing and what not..
Either way, Florida has been amazing for our whole family.
For example, I'm never really alone. I step out on the porch to let the dogs out and 9 times out of 10 there is a large black snake curled up on said porch waiting to keep me company.
Or..an armadillo clogging across the street.
No shortage of frogs or lizards either for the record.
I'm really just waiting / dreading finding human remains on one of my "good weather" inspired walks.
Every morning the smoking hot news lady smiles as she tells coastal Floridians of human remains found in some remote, yet squeamishly close part of my piece of paradise.
Anyway, I'm ready.
Pediatrics here is so different and socially challenging. The diseases are all the same , but the social milieu is very diverse.
Before I started my new job , I had the amazing opportunity to be able to drop off my girls and pick them up from school. I noticed that many of the adults dropping off and picking up were older people in their 60's and 70's.
I figured that this was an older community where the retired grandparents were participating in the care of their grandchildren.
When I started my new job I soon realized that it was mostly the grandparents and / or the great grandparents that were actually assuming the full care of the children!!!!
OMG!! I can't imagine raising my children's ... Children!!!
First of all... I'm OLD!! Second... I have stuff that I want to do once these lovely girls are off to college.
Third.. I have already PLANNED that they will each host me for 3 months at a time in my old age. 3 months with Chloe... Then Liza... Then Ruby.. Then Darby..
I can play with my grand kids ... Organize their home... Have them drive me around a lot ... Teach them to cook things... Vomit in their car....whatever!!
But here... It is a sad thing. When I read the chart... It says.. " Parents not involved".
Moms and dads just give their kids away to the grandparents.
I'm forever praying about this one. What do the parents think that this does to a child? Do they think that by abandoning their kids to the grandparents that the kids are some how immune to the fact that they have been abandoned?
The toddlers and infants don't get to me as much as the "middle schoolers " and "high schoolers " do.
The little ones don't know enough to feel abandoned but the older ones have either been removed and placed with the grandparents or have been just given away.
Age and wisdom are amazing. These grandparents do a phenomenal job of raising these left behind kids.
I feel like I should start a support group for these mind blowing folks.
At the end of the day I'm left with so many mixed feelings. I'm astonished at the capability of these grandparents( and often great grandparents). I'm sick about the lack of responsibility of the biological parents.
I'm mostly reminded and so thankful that God blessed me with four beautiful daughters that I love caring for and smothering in love everyday!
The burdens here aren't like third world burdens. These parents are given welfare to feed and house their children. These parents that give up on their children are drug addicts. No other reason. 100% of the time thus far.
One of my patient's mom is a lady with Neurofibromatosis. She has endured a stroke and she drools and is deaf and she can't talk. She has never missed an appointment . She breast feeds her daughter who is one year old. She has social services in 5 days a week to provide any support that her child could need in a hearing and speaking world. She is one of the nicest people that I have ever met. Her goals for her child put me in check.
We all know that there are days where we feel like giving our children to a babysitter and running full speed the other way for a few hours. That is healthy. I think. Anyway... I always come back to them.
I look into those little eyes and see so much trust. I see the future and hope and amazing....
unconditional love.
Anyway... I'm signing up to be a foster parent . If I can be a part of the solution and nurture one or two or ten more precious souls then I'm one step closer to helping every child see their worth and right to be loved and break the legacy of irresponsibility that their parents have left them.
The weather here has enabled us to be outside everyday on our bikes and skateboards and surfboards etc.
When I say "us" I mean mostly ... Them... Those 4 girls that I gave birth to 15, 12, 8 and 6 years ago.
And always the 2 dogs who THINK I gave birth to them.
Don't get me wrong. I had my moment on a skateboard. I stood on Ruby's penny board while holding Batman's leash.. Yes.. I said.. "Batman".. And he ran like only a bat dog could run while I held on for dear life as the scenery passed me by... Until he took a wicked right into the direction of the Italian restaurant and it's glorious meatball smells.
I did 986 moves not to fall.. And I didn't ..I just landed really hard on my left leg.
2 weeks later I was telling myself that it was a bad sprain as I hobbled into X-ray .
Ok.. A broken fibula. Could be worse. That's not such an important bone ...non-weight bearing and what not..
Either way, Florida has been amazing for our whole family.
For example, I'm never really alone. I step out on the porch to let the dogs out and 9 times out of 10 there is a large black snake curled up on said porch waiting to keep me company.
Or..an armadillo clogging across the street.
No shortage of frogs or lizards either for the record.
I'm really just waiting / dreading finding human remains on one of my "good weather" inspired walks.
Every morning the smoking hot news lady smiles as she tells coastal Floridians of human remains found in some remote, yet squeamishly close part of my piece of paradise.
Anyway, I'm ready.
Pediatrics here is so different and socially challenging. The diseases are all the same , but the social milieu is very diverse.
Before I started my new job , I had the amazing opportunity to be able to drop off my girls and pick them up from school. I noticed that many of the adults dropping off and picking up were older people in their 60's and 70's.
I figured that this was an older community where the retired grandparents were participating in the care of their grandchildren.
When I started my new job I soon realized that it was mostly the grandparents and / or the great grandparents that were actually assuming the full care of the children!!!!
OMG!! I can't imagine raising my children's ... Children!!!
First of all... I'm OLD!! Second... I have stuff that I want to do once these lovely girls are off to college.
Third.. I have already PLANNED that they will each host me for 3 months at a time in my old age. 3 months with Chloe... Then Liza... Then Ruby.. Then Darby..
I can play with my grand kids ... Organize their home... Have them drive me around a lot ... Teach them to cook things... Vomit in their car....whatever!!
But here... It is a sad thing. When I read the chart... It says.. " Parents not involved".
Moms and dads just give their kids away to the grandparents.
I'm forever praying about this one. What do the parents think that this does to a child? Do they think that by abandoning their kids to the grandparents that the kids are some how immune to the fact that they have been abandoned?
The toddlers and infants don't get to me as much as the "middle schoolers " and "high schoolers " do.
The little ones don't know enough to feel abandoned but the older ones have either been removed and placed with the grandparents or have been just given away.
Age and wisdom are amazing. These grandparents do a phenomenal job of raising these left behind kids.
I feel like I should start a support group for these mind blowing folks.
At the end of the day I'm left with so many mixed feelings. I'm astonished at the capability of these grandparents( and often great grandparents). I'm sick about the lack of responsibility of the biological parents.
I'm mostly reminded and so thankful that God blessed me with four beautiful daughters that I love caring for and smothering in love everyday!
The burdens here aren't like third world burdens. These parents are given welfare to feed and house their children. These parents that give up on their children are drug addicts. No other reason. 100% of the time thus far.
One of my patient's mom is a lady with Neurofibromatosis. She has endured a stroke and she drools and is deaf and she can't talk. She has never missed an appointment . She breast feeds her daughter who is one year old. She has social services in 5 days a week to provide any support that her child could need in a hearing and speaking world. She is one of the nicest people that I have ever met. Her goals for her child put me in check.
We all know that there are days where we feel like giving our children to a babysitter and running full speed the other way for a few hours. That is healthy. I think. Anyway... I always come back to them.
I look into those little eyes and see so much trust. I see the future and hope and amazing....
unconditional love.
Anyway... I'm signing up to be a foster parent . If I can be a part of the solution and nurture one or two or ten more precious souls then I'm one step closer to helping every child see their worth and right to be loved and break the legacy of irresponsibility that their parents have left them.
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