Please visit me in jail

I was reading the school policy on attendance a few days ago. I couldn't help feeling a bit overwhelmed by the concept of any child missing 5 days or more in a semester being evaluated for truancy.

I have 4 kids in the public school system. I'm a dead ringer for truancy.

I have always been baffled by the "Don't send your child to school sick." principle verses the "Your child can't miss 5 days of school." law.

Other parents get all twisted up over this as well.

When one of my girls get sick....she acts as a "Typhoid Mary" for the rest of us. All of us get it sequentially.

Let's take for example the puking thing. Each child spends 2 days puking and becoming mildly dehydrated. They then take 2 days to recover. That's 4 days.

HELLO HANDCUFFS!!!!!

This leaves no room for asthma, Strep, influenza, croup, obnoxious coughing...etc..etc..

I....and most of you don't go to the doctor for all of these things(thank goodness that some of you do or I wouldn't have a job).

But... The school wants a medical excuse for absenses in excess of a few days.

It leaves me baffled. I'm a doctor who can't conceive of a child sitting through class feeling horrible. How can they learn?

That said... I understand that some kids just refuse to attend school. I get that there should be a policy for kids that don't go because they are too tired or they think school rules don't apply to them.

My 10 year old, Liza, is really smart. She's been listening to me triage calls from parents for years. She comes out sometimes in the AM holding her neck and screaming " My SPLEEN!!!!!
My spleen has meningitis.. I may DIE..."

I promptly send her to school.

That said, she is also the one with asthma and chronic urinary infections and has been hospitalized at least 5 times. I always err on the side of keeping her home to avoid the possibility that she isn't "crying wolf".

Kids who have been at home vs daycare prior to entering school are sick ALL the time!!! They get at LEAST 2 colds per month... Each lasting about 10 days.

Public schools in WV also have full day preschool 4 days per week. Darby goes this year. Talk about a germ factory!!! You can't send a sick 4 year old to school!! She is held to the same standard as the rest though as far as attendance!!!

Attendance is the single most important thing as far as school success.....I get it...but kids that are sick need TIME to recover.

So... Enough venting... What to do?

If your child has a chronic condition then meet with the guidance counsellor. Explain that your child may need to be absent in certain situations. Let the school know that you are invested in the education of your child and that you think attendance is important!!

Ask your pediatrician to write a letter documenting your child's illness if chronic.

For a malingering child who doesn't want to attend.....it can be rough. First, figure out why your child doesn't want to go. Is it bullying? Does she feel too tired? Could it be a problem with the teacher? Is it a problem with learning or attention? FIND OUT and address it.

I'm still a little overwhelmed. I have one kid down most of the time. I forget to call in most of the time...and even though I work in a doctor's office... I forget the damn excuse.

Again, please visit me in jail if the truancy police come knocking!!!

I'm pretty sure I was normal until I had my 1st baby.

When I had Chloe I was 29. I had finished med school and a 3 year residency. I read the "books" as well. The "books" all said that a newborn could sleep 23 hours/ day.

By the second week I was thinking I had read the "books" wrong. I was sure they meant that newborns could stay awake 23 hours/day.

My plan was that I'd come home from the hospital..breast-feed..and put the baby down for the 3 hours that the "books" said she would sleep. During this time I was going to study for my boards.

HELLO...WAKE UP...REALITY CHECK... Chloe cried all day long. I cried all day long. I nursed all day long.

When night would come, I cried because everyone else in the world was going to bed. I was stuck with a baby that cried and wouldn't sleep.

There was no Comcast, On Demand or TIVO at my house. I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom.

I slept in 15 min stretches...studied for my boards...breast fed ( because I didn't want to be the only pediatrician in the world that didn't breast feed) and CRIED.

Coffee commercials made me cry...hearing ACDC on the NON satellite radio made me cry...Hallmark cards made me cry...washing dishes made me cry....watering the plants made me cry.....

Prior to having Chloe I didn't cry much.

I remember thinking..." Why in the world would people reproduce?".

How could women come into my office with 4 kids looking happy and well adjusted?

By the 3rd week of this torment....I decided that I wasn't normal and neither was Chloe.

I took her to a Doc that said..." She has colic...run a vacuum cleaner or a hairdryer."

I was thinking that 20 Dirt Devils and 2 million hairdryers wouldn't fix our problems.

Thank God for my stepdad who was a neonatologist for many years. I left Chloe with him to go get ice cream. When I returned he said...."This baby has reflux."

We went to Pittsburgh Children's GI Department. They gave her medicine and diagnosed her with milk protein allergy. I was able to nurse her as long as I didn't have dairy in my diet.

Within weeks she was a happy and content baby.

I started loving to nurse her.

I studied for my boards and passed.

I began to enjoy my baby girl.

Being a first time mom is the scariest thing I've EVER done. I had just finished a residency in which I would do spinal taps and femoral lines and intubations on infants and children of all ages. When I brought Chloe home...I had to have my mom come over to give her a bath because I was too nervous to do it.

I decided then that I would never mince words with first time parents. I want parents to know that babies are amazing...but do not usually follow the "rule book". I  don't ever look at a first time parent with a fussy kid and say ," Oh, that's just colic...It will get better eventually."

Find a pediatrician that listens and can sort out what is going on with your newborn.

That 6-8 weeks that most parents have to be with their baby before they go back to work should not be miserable.

I know...I kept on reproducing!! Each time with a little more experience and knowledge that the "books" didn't teach me.