I was reading the school policy on attendance a few days ago. I couldn't help feeling a bit overwhelmed by the concept of any child missing 5 days or more in a semester being evaluated for truancy.
I have 4 kids in the public school system. I'm a dead ringer for truancy.
I have always been baffled by the "Don't send your child to school sick." principle verses the "Your child can't miss 5 days of school." law.
Other parents get all twisted up over this as well.
When one of my girls get sick....she acts as a "Typhoid Mary" for the rest of us. All of us get it sequentially.
Let's take for example the puking thing. Each child spends 2 days puking and becoming mildly dehydrated. They then take 2 days to recover. That's 4 days.
HELLO HANDCUFFS!!!!!
This leaves no room for asthma, Strep, influenza, croup, obnoxious coughing...etc..etc..
I....and most of you don't go to the doctor for all of these things(thank goodness that some of you do or I wouldn't have a job).
But... The school wants a medical excuse for absenses in excess of a few days.
It leaves me baffled. I'm a doctor who can't conceive of a child sitting through class feeling horrible. How can they learn?
That said... I understand that some kids just refuse to attend school. I get that there should be a policy for kids that don't go because they are too tired or they think school rules don't apply to them.
My 10 year old, Liza, is really smart. She's been listening to me triage calls from parents for years. She comes out sometimes in the AM holding her neck and screaming " My SPLEEN!!!!!
My spleen has meningitis.. I may DIE..."
I promptly send her to school.
That said, she is also the one with asthma and chronic urinary infections and has been hospitalized at least 5 times. I always err on the side of keeping her home to avoid the possibility that she isn't "crying wolf".
Kids who have been at home vs daycare prior to entering school are sick ALL the time!!! They get at LEAST 2 colds per month... Each lasting about 10 days.
Public schools in WV also have full day preschool 4 days per week. Darby goes this year. Talk about a germ factory!!! You can't send a sick 4 year old to school!! She is held to the same standard as the rest though as far as attendance!!!
Attendance is the single most important thing as far as school success.....I get it...but kids that are sick need TIME to recover.
So... Enough venting... What to do?
If your child has a chronic condition then meet with the guidance counsellor. Explain that your child may need to be absent in certain situations. Let the school know that you are invested in the education of your child and that you think attendance is important!!
Ask your pediatrician to write a letter documenting your child's illness if chronic.
For a malingering child who doesn't want to attend.....it can be rough. First, figure out why your child doesn't want to go. Is it bullying? Does she feel too tired? Could it be a problem with the teacher? Is it a problem with learning or attention? FIND OUT and address it.
I'm still a little overwhelmed. I have one kid down most of the time. I forget to call in most of the time...and even though I work in a doctor's office... I forget the damn excuse.
Again, please visit me in jail if the truancy police come knocking!!!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
I'm pretty sure I was normal until I had my 1st baby.
When I had Chloe I was 29. I had finished med school and a 3 year residency. I read the "books" as well. The "books" all said that a newborn could sleep 23 hours/ day.
By the second week I was thinking I had read the "books" wrong. I was sure they meant that newborns could stay awake 23 hours/day.
My plan was that I'd come home from the hospital..breast-feed..and put the baby down for the 3 hours that the "books" said she would sleep. During this time I was going to study for my boards.
HELLO...WAKE UP...REALITY CHECK... Chloe cried all day long. I cried all day long. I nursed all day long.
When night would come, I cried because everyone else in the world was going to bed. I was stuck with a baby that cried and wouldn't sleep.
There was no Comcast, On Demand or TIVO at my house. I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom.
I slept in 15 min stretches...studied for my boards...breast fed ( because I didn't want to be the only pediatrician in the world that didn't breast feed) and CRIED.
Coffee commercials made me cry...hearing ACDC on the NON satellite radio made me cry...Hallmark cards made me cry...washing dishes made me cry....watering the plants made me cry.....
Prior to having Chloe I didn't cry much.
I remember thinking..." Why in the world would people reproduce?".
How could women come into my office with 4 kids looking happy and well adjusted?
By the 3rd week of this torment....I decided that I wasn't normal and neither was Chloe.
I took her to a Doc that said..." She has colic...run a vacuum cleaner or a hairdryer."
I was thinking that 20 Dirt Devils and 2 million hairdryers wouldn't fix our problems.
Thank God for my stepdad who was a neonatologist for many years. I left Chloe with him to go get ice cream. When I returned he said...."This baby has reflux."
We went to Pittsburgh Children's GI Department. They gave her medicine and diagnosed her with milk protein allergy. I was able to nurse her as long as I didn't have dairy in my diet.
Within weeks she was a happy and content baby.
I started loving to nurse her.
I studied for my boards and passed.
I began to enjoy my baby girl.
Being a first time mom is the scariest thing I've EVER done. I had just finished a residency in which I would do spinal taps and femoral lines and intubations on infants and children of all ages. When I brought Chloe home...I had to have my mom come over to give her a bath because I was too nervous to do it.
I decided then that I would never mince words with first time parents. I want parents to know that babies are amazing...but do not usually follow the "rule book". I don't ever look at a first time parent with a fussy kid and say ," Oh, that's just colic...It will get better eventually."
Find a pediatrician that listens and can sort out what is going on with your newborn.
That 6-8 weeks that most parents have to be with their baby before they go back to work should not be miserable.
I know...I kept on reproducing!! Each time with a little more experience and knowledge that the "books" didn't teach me.
By the second week I was thinking I had read the "books" wrong. I was sure they meant that newborns could stay awake 23 hours/day.
My plan was that I'd come home from the hospital..breast-feed..and put the baby down for the 3 hours that the "books" said she would sleep. During this time I was going to study for my boards.
HELLO...WAKE UP...REALITY CHECK... Chloe cried all day long. I cried all day long. I nursed all day long.
When night would come, I cried because everyone else in the world was going to bed. I was stuck with a baby that cried and wouldn't sleep.
There was no Comcast, On Demand or TIVO at my house. I didn't even have a TV in my bedroom.
I slept in 15 min stretches...studied for my boards...breast fed ( because I didn't want to be the only pediatrician in the world that didn't breast feed) and CRIED.
Coffee commercials made me cry...hearing ACDC on the NON satellite radio made me cry...Hallmark cards made me cry...washing dishes made me cry....watering the plants made me cry.....
Prior to having Chloe I didn't cry much.
I remember thinking..." Why in the world would people reproduce?".
How could women come into my office with 4 kids looking happy and well adjusted?
By the 3rd week of this torment....I decided that I wasn't normal and neither was Chloe.
I took her to a Doc that said..." She has colic...run a vacuum cleaner or a hairdryer."
I was thinking that 20 Dirt Devils and 2 million hairdryers wouldn't fix our problems.
Thank God for my stepdad who was a neonatologist for many years. I left Chloe with him to go get ice cream. When I returned he said...."This baby has reflux."
We went to Pittsburgh Children's GI Department. They gave her medicine and diagnosed her with milk protein allergy. I was able to nurse her as long as I didn't have dairy in my diet.
Within weeks she was a happy and content baby.
I started loving to nurse her.
I studied for my boards and passed.
I began to enjoy my baby girl.
Being a first time mom is the scariest thing I've EVER done. I had just finished a residency in which I would do spinal taps and femoral lines and intubations on infants and children of all ages. When I brought Chloe home...I had to have my mom come over to give her a bath because I was too nervous to do it.
I decided then that I would never mince words with first time parents. I want parents to know that babies are amazing...but do not usually follow the "rule book". I don't ever look at a first time parent with a fussy kid and say ," Oh, that's just colic...It will get better eventually."
Find a pediatrician that listens and can sort out what is going on with your newborn.
That 6-8 weeks that most parents have to be with their baby before they go back to work should not be miserable.
I know...I kept on reproducing!! Each time with a little more experience and knowledge that the "books" didn't teach me.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I'm thinking about ADHD....wait..what was I thinking about??
I LOVE ADHD!!! Really..this is the best time of my practice. The first few weeks of school, I have so many patients come in for evaluation of "attention issues"..
A child doesn't ever develop ADHD in kindergarten. Now, preschool is available at 4 years of age. Children also don't develop ADHD in preschool.
Children are BORN with ADHD.
First time parents sometimes don't know any better. They have no comparison. Second time parents are aware that there are differences but can allow for other reasons...." He is acting out...he is stubborn...he is bad...".
The first time that parents observe that their child has trouble with following directions like...staying on task...sitting quietly at a table with peers...waiting their turn... is usually noticed in the day care, pre-k or kindergarten environment.
They come to me in the first weeks of school saying that the teacher thinks there is a problem. The teacher tells them that their child is disruptive...can't pay attention..talks out loud..is fidgety..can't keep his hands to himself..can't sit in circle time...annoys others kids...can't follow directions...talks incessantly...
WOW.
Where are the parents? Where are the grandparents? Where is the babysitter? Where is the daycare?
I'll tell you. All of the above have noticed. The problem is that no "program" will recognize ADHD until the child gets to school and is singled out for his/her behavior.
By then it is harder to help the child in question.
That is where I love the chance to help.
The earlier the better. This gives me more chance to evaluate the child and set him/her up for testing.
The first thing I ask of the parent(s) is if the child met developmental milestones appropriately.
I ask if they can see and hear. Most people know...even without testing. If there is a question, then I set them up for evaluation with audiology and ophthalmology.
I then interview the child. If the child isn't able to sit still or engage in a task or answer questions or play or interrupts or climbs everywhere...etc.........then I get started.
I am amazed at how many K- 3 kids, with ADHD, when asked if they like school, say " NO"! I'm even more amazed that when I ask them if they have any friends..they say "NO". 75% of kids cry when I ask them if they feel welcome and loved at school. This always blows away parents ....and they usually cry too. I think because the parents ache for their child and they feel guilty or responsible. Which parent doesn't want their child to feel as special as we know they are?
The child with ADHD can't help behaving in a manner that is irritating. There is no regard for personal space, their thoughts race, they can't help yelling out, they fidget, they can't follow directions, they are disruptive, they act as if driven by a motor, they miss the innuendo and social cues that other kids have naturally.....they are obnoxious to teachers and fellow students.
The child hears, " Sit down...keep your hands to yourself..stop running around..pay attention..stay in line....focus...stay in your seat...stop talking...take turns...don't shout out loud..."
Then, the child gets a "note" for mom as he watches the rest of the "well behaved" kids get rewards for good behavior.
He goes home and hears..." You're bad..another note? ...Sit down...EAT!! Do your homework...stop wiggling...be like your sister...Wait 'til your dad gets home...etc..etc...
Pretty soon the child just tunes out and resolves himself to being the "bad egg".
This is where I step in.
I only wish that I had an hour with every child.
First, if I'm thinking that the child really has ADHD, I ask that the school test the child.
As I've been doing Pediatrics for 14 years, I have a good idea who is really ADHD. Not that I'm so smart, but I am really willing to listen to teachers and parents.
I start meds at once if I'm convinced that the child is ADHD. I still put in the EVAL for development but I'm unwilling to let a child suffer when he or she could benefit from therapy.
I also tell the child that it is not a magic pill. It won't make their parents nicer or the teacher more lenient.
I tell them that it will only help them concentrate a bit longer. The rest , I tell them is up to them.
I also tell the parents that this child will need to be parented differently than most. I stress a highly structured environment.
Those of you that know me ...know I'm about as structured as a glob of silly putty. My kids just don't need rigid structure. In fact, they NEED to be flexible.
ADHD kids need structure. The meds ONLY help them concentrate a bit longer. Long enough to not do impulsive things... long enough to listen to and follow directions...long enough to regard a friend...long enough to form a bond...long enough to understand and feel empathy...
If the meds offer this "bit more" of focus, then the parents and teachers need to know what to do with that moment more.
Kids don't WANT to have ADHD. They want to be successful in kindergarten and 1st grade and 6th grade and 8th grade and 11th grade and college. If you asked your child in kindergarten if she wanted to drop out of school......she would LAUGH at you. The world is their world. It only takes a few months to take the wind out of their sails.
Don't be that parent that says, " There is NOTHIN wrong with my kid".
Teachers know. Doctors know. Most parents know.
I love ADHD kids because I can help change their lives if the parents and the teachers are on board early.
So, what was I thinkin about?
A child doesn't ever develop ADHD in kindergarten. Now, preschool is available at 4 years of age. Children also don't develop ADHD in preschool.
Children are BORN with ADHD.
First time parents sometimes don't know any better. They have no comparison. Second time parents are aware that there are differences but can allow for other reasons...." He is acting out...he is stubborn...he is bad...".
The first time that parents observe that their child has trouble with following directions like...staying on task...sitting quietly at a table with peers...waiting their turn... is usually noticed in the day care, pre-k or kindergarten environment.
They come to me in the first weeks of school saying that the teacher thinks there is a problem. The teacher tells them that their child is disruptive...can't pay attention..talks out loud..is fidgety..can't keep his hands to himself..can't sit in circle time...annoys others kids...can't follow directions...talks incessantly...
WOW.
Where are the parents? Where are the grandparents? Where is the babysitter? Where is the daycare?
I'll tell you. All of the above have noticed. The problem is that no "program" will recognize ADHD until the child gets to school and is singled out for his/her behavior.
By then it is harder to help the child in question.
That is where I love the chance to help.
The earlier the better. This gives me more chance to evaluate the child and set him/her up for testing.
The first thing I ask of the parent(s) is if the child met developmental milestones appropriately.
I ask if they can see and hear. Most people know...even without testing. If there is a question, then I set them up for evaluation with audiology and ophthalmology.
I then interview the child. If the child isn't able to sit still or engage in a task or answer questions or play or interrupts or climbs everywhere...etc.........then I get started.
I am amazed at how many K- 3 kids, with ADHD, when asked if they like school, say " NO"! I'm even more amazed that when I ask them if they have any friends..they say "NO". 75% of kids cry when I ask them if they feel welcome and loved at school. This always blows away parents ....and they usually cry too. I think because the parents ache for their child and they feel guilty or responsible. Which parent doesn't want their child to feel as special as we know they are?
The child with ADHD can't help behaving in a manner that is irritating. There is no regard for personal space, their thoughts race, they can't help yelling out, they fidget, they can't follow directions, they are disruptive, they act as if driven by a motor, they miss the innuendo and social cues that other kids have naturally.....they are obnoxious to teachers and fellow students.
The child hears, " Sit down...keep your hands to yourself..stop running around..pay attention..stay in line....focus...stay in your seat...stop talking...take turns...don't shout out loud..."
Then, the child gets a "note" for mom as he watches the rest of the "well behaved" kids get rewards for good behavior.
He goes home and hears..." You're bad..another note? ...Sit down...EAT!! Do your homework...stop wiggling...be like your sister...Wait 'til your dad gets home...etc..etc...
Pretty soon the child just tunes out and resolves himself to being the "bad egg".
This is where I step in.
I only wish that I had an hour with every child.
First, if I'm thinking that the child really has ADHD, I ask that the school test the child.
As I've been doing Pediatrics for 14 years, I have a good idea who is really ADHD. Not that I'm so smart, but I am really willing to listen to teachers and parents.
I start meds at once if I'm convinced that the child is ADHD. I still put in the EVAL for development but I'm unwilling to let a child suffer when he or she could benefit from therapy.
I also tell the child that it is not a magic pill. It won't make their parents nicer or the teacher more lenient.
I tell them that it will only help them concentrate a bit longer. The rest , I tell them is up to them.
I also tell the parents that this child will need to be parented differently than most. I stress a highly structured environment.
Those of you that know me ...know I'm about as structured as a glob of silly putty. My kids just don't need rigid structure. In fact, they NEED to be flexible.
ADHD kids need structure. The meds ONLY help them concentrate a bit longer. Long enough to not do impulsive things... long enough to listen to and follow directions...long enough to regard a friend...long enough to form a bond...long enough to understand and feel empathy...
If the meds offer this "bit more" of focus, then the parents and teachers need to know what to do with that moment more.
Kids don't WANT to have ADHD. They want to be successful in kindergarten and 1st grade and 6th grade and 8th grade and 11th grade and college. If you asked your child in kindergarten if she wanted to drop out of school......she would LAUGH at you. The world is their world. It only takes a few months to take the wind out of their sails.
Don't be that parent that says, " There is NOTHIN wrong with my kid".
Teachers know. Doctors know. Most parents know.
I love ADHD kids because I can help change their lives if the parents and the teachers are on board early.
So, what was I thinkin about?
Saturday, August 20, 2011
The "Back to school Bitch"...
What is UP with school starting in the middle of August?
Regardless, kids everywhere are going school shopping with their parents to get ready for the year. Every child wants the best backpack, shoes, clothes, notebooks..etc..
Why?
They want to fit in. They want to be accepted. They want friends. They want to learn.
Some can't wait to get OUT of their home and get to a stable environment.
So what happens when a child goes to school and gets relentlessly bullied?
That kid has no reprieve. Used to be that if you could make it to your bus on Friday and get home then you wouldn't have to deal with bullying until Monday. Now, kids are harassed on Facebook, texts, twitter..24/7.
What can we do as parents to prevent this?
First, figure out if your child is the" bullied" or the" bullier" or the "passive watcher" or the "oblivious to everything" kid.
Ask if they have been picked on or have seen someone picked on. Ask what they did in the situation.
I had a patient in Chloe's class. He was overweight and had a speech problem and came from a rough home. He came in for a sore throat. After figuring out he was in Chloe's grade, I asked him if he knew her. He smiled and said , "Yeah, I know Chloe..she's nice to me".
I felt all kinds of things. I was glad Chloe was nice. I was sad that this kid divided up people in school that were either nice to him or were mean to him. When he was out of the room ,I asked his mom if he had a best friend. She said that she had no idea. She is a great mom and was worried sick about her little guy's throat, but had no idea if he had a friend.
Later, I asked Chloe if she knew this kid. I didn't tell her he was my patient but she probably assumed. She said that she knew him and felt sorry for him cus he was so nice to everyone but most people were mean back. She said she always says " Hi" to him.
I really used that situation to help Chloe realize how much that " Hi" meant to him everyday. She never forgets to say "Hello" to him now. She also called out a person that was picking on him.
We should all take a moment with our kids and remind them how their actions and words can make or break some one's day..week..year..
Also, ask your child if someone is being mean to THEM. If so, be aggressive. Don't let your kid think he or she is alone. Let them know that you have their back.
Call other parents. Call the school. Be your child's advocate!
Regardless, kids everywhere are going school shopping with their parents to get ready for the year. Every child wants the best backpack, shoes, clothes, notebooks..etc..
Why?
They want to fit in. They want to be accepted. They want friends. They want to learn.
Some can't wait to get OUT of their home and get to a stable environment.
So what happens when a child goes to school and gets relentlessly bullied?
That kid has no reprieve. Used to be that if you could make it to your bus on Friday and get home then you wouldn't have to deal with bullying until Monday. Now, kids are harassed on Facebook, texts, twitter..24/7.
What can we do as parents to prevent this?
First, figure out if your child is the" bullied" or the" bullier" or the "passive watcher" or the "oblivious to everything" kid.
Ask if they have been picked on or have seen someone picked on. Ask what they did in the situation.
I had a patient in Chloe's class. He was overweight and had a speech problem and came from a rough home. He came in for a sore throat. After figuring out he was in Chloe's grade, I asked him if he knew her. He smiled and said , "Yeah, I know Chloe..she's nice to me".
I felt all kinds of things. I was glad Chloe was nice. I was sad that this kid divided up people in school that were either nice to him or were mean to him. When he was out of the room ,I asked his mom if he had a best friend. She said that she had no idea. She is a great mom and was worried sick about her little guy's throat, but had no idea if he had a friend.
Later, I asked Chloe if she knew this kid. I didn't tell her he was my patient but she probably assumed. She said that she knew him and felt sorry for him cus he was so nice to everyone but most people were mean back. She said she always says " Hi" to him.
I really used that situation to help Chloe realize how much that " Hi" meant to him everyday. She never forgets to say "Hello" to him now. She also called out a person that was picking on him.
We should all take a moment with our kids and remind them how their actions and words can make or break some one's day..week..year..
Also, ask your child if someone is being mean to THEM. If so, be aggressive. Don't let your kid think he or she is alone. Let them know that you have their back.
Call other parents. Call the school. Be your child's advocate!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Back to school safety by a psycho safety mom
Why? Why do I watch Criminal Minds and CSI and SVU and Discovery ID ? I'm obsessed. So, let me just get this outta the way.
I must preface this safety tip with this. When I was pregnant with Darby, we went to Cancun. I met a NYC cop and his family. I said, " OH MY GOD ( OMG) ...you must go crazy with all those kidnappings and Amber alerts...you must keep your kids under lock and key...HOW do you DEAL with these tragedies everyday??"
"Nalini , I've been a cop for 15 years...guess how many child abductions I've seen and investigated?" He said.
I replied..."At least 50..75...100...THOUSANDS!!!"
Silence.
More silence.
" None...zero...nada...zilch..", He said while staring at me like I had a screw loose.
That said.....I still go over " How to not get abducted and /or molested 101".
First, let your child know that THEY HAVE A VOICE and that they should use it . So many kids are intimidated by adults...especially in and around school. I tell 'em..if you're uncomfortable or unsure..just scream your head off and RUN!!
Let them know who they CAN get in the car with when not with you. That is easier to remember.
Have a code word if the child is old enough to understand that concept.
Tell them where their "private parts" are and who can see them ( mom, dad, safe caregiver..etc..)
I give my girls a word for people who could want to " take or hurt " them. Most kids don't know "pedophile".
We use "pee-pee touchers".
Now, this could lead to a nice neighbor offering your 7 year old a ride home from school to help you out and your child pointing and waving and running while screaming... "PEE PEE TOUCHER..PEE PEE TOUCHER!!"
Your neighbor may be ostracized for a while but at least ya know you got through! Bye Bye Bunko!!
Have a current pic of your child available. Know heights and weights.
My kids say, " Mom..a kidnapper van!!!" when they see a van with no windows.. A little over the edge I admit.
OK..Here are 2 other things to go over!! More will come!!
1. Food and bee allergies.
Have an action plan with the school nurse and teacher.
Have Epi-Pens accessible if your Doc has prescribed them. Always 2 pens!!
2. Bus etiquette. How to get on ( always cross in front and wait for the oncoming traffic to stop)....bullying...what to do if your baby gets on the wrong bus...what if your child drops stuff and it rolls under the bus..
Be creative. Think of potential questions and situations.
I must preface this safety tip with this. When I was pregnant with Darby, we went to Cancun. I met a NYC cop and his family. I said, " OH MY GOD ( OMG) ...you must go crazy with all those kidnappings and Amber alerts...you must keep your kids under lock and key...HOW do you DEAL with these tragedies everyday??"
"Nalini , I've been a cop for 15 years...guess how many child abductions I've seen and investigated?" He said.
I replied..."At least 50..75...100...THOUSANDS!!!"
Silence.
More silence.
" None...zero...nada...zilch..", He said while staring at me like I had a screw loose.
That said.....I still go over " How to not get abducted and /or molested 101".
First, let your child know that THEY HAVE A VOICE and that they should use it . So many kids are intimidated by adults...especially in and around school. I tell 'em..if you're uncomfortable or unsure..just scream your head off and RUN!!
Let them know who they CAN get in the car with when not with you. That is easier to remember.
Have a code word if the child is old enough to understand that concept.
Tell them where their "private parts" are and who can see them ( mom, dad, safe caregiver..etc..)
I give my girls a word for people who could want to " take or hurt " them. Most kids don't know "pedophile".
We use "pee-pee touchers".
Now, this could lead to a nice neighbor offering your 7 year old a ride home from school to help you out and your child pointing and waving and running while screaming... "PEE PEE TOUCHER..PEE PEE TOUCHER!!"
Your neighbor may be ostracized for a while but at least ya know you got through! Bye Bye Bunko!!
Have a current pic of your child available. Know heights and weights.
My kids say, " Mom..a kidnapper van!!!" when they see a van with no windows.. A little over the edge I admit.
OK..Here are 2 other things to go over!! More will come!!
1. Food and bee allergies.
Have an action plan with the school nurse and teacher.
Have Epi-Pens accessible if your Doc has prescribed them. Always 2 pens!!
2. Bus etiquette. How to get on ( always cross in front and wait for the oncoming traffic to stop)....bullying...what to do if your baby gets on the wrong bus...what if your child drops stuff and it rolls under the bus..
Be creative. Think of potential questions and situations.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
When good kids say BAD things
I was cooking the other night with Ruby and Darby. They were sitting on either side of me on the counter, helping throw veggies in the salad.
Ruby casually says" So mom, today I was at K's house ( BFF) with Darby and we were all dancing to that Justin Bieber song...you know..the one that goes..baby,babyoohh......Anyway mom, the Chipmunks were singing it instead of Justin Bieber and they sang 'STAR F_ _ _K' in the song."
I choked on a cucumber but calmly told her that it would be highly unlikely that either Justin Bieber or Alvin,Theodore and Simon would say F_ _ K.
"Really mommy, they say 'STAR F_ _ K'." Says Darbs in her casual 4 year old way.
Chloe came downstairs at the end of the conversation and trying desperately to stifle her laughter calmly told them that the word in question was STAR STRUCK.
The two little girls looked at each other and laughed. They told Chloe that STAR STRUCK didn't make any sense.
Ahhhh but STAR F_ _K does?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
The minds of kids are fascinating. How could I get mad? They were just repeating what they THOUGHT they heard.
It was a learning/teaching point. I pointed out that the F -word was a "not nice" word that no decent Chipmunk or teeny bop singer would EVER use...especially in a little girl dance song. Then we listened to it. Then I told them what star struck meant in the context of the song.
They were satisfied and I was left wondering why they didn't think the Chipmunks were singing "STARBUCKS".
Bad word are a part of our society and we'd be naive to think that our kids won't hear them... in the home.. on TV.. on the school playground .. from older siblings... from cranky post call moms (oops) .. from songs like those featured on the HIP HOP sat radio station ( TURN IT OFF CHLOE!!).
It depends on how your child USES them that will pick the parenting skill to end the use of FOUR LETTER WORDS. And..I don't mean whether or not he uses them in a grammatically correct way.
If a child is saying a bad word over and over for effect, then the best thing you can do is ignore it. Well, and disguise it in public.."Really that's his word for TRUCK".
Ignoring the behavior will cause it to extinguish. Simple to say...hard to do.
Kids that just say it because they've overheard it can just be told very openly that "BAD WORDS" are words that people should NOT use and that you don't want the child to use those words. Avoid if you can, going through the "George Carlin" list of bad words. I think this would do more damage than good.
Also, be honest. Tell them what the word is "slang" for and give them other options. " SH_T, means poo-poo and I'd rather you tell mommy you have to POO-POO than SH_T. This unsolicited advice is aged based obviously.
Liza asked me a few years ago if she could ask Santa for a "Disco Stick". You know the one in the lady GaGa song ( I wanna take a ride on your disco stick). I calmly explained that Lady G was indeed using the word "Disco Stick" to mean PENIS. I told her that I would NOT expect her to get on Santa's lap and ask for a "Disco Stick" for this reason. SHE WAS MORTIFIED. She thanked me for telling her and turned the station whenever the song came on.
Clearly, I reserve such blunt explanation when listening to Darby sing " I want to touch your Peacock..Cock..Cock.." THANKS KATY PERRY I just told her that Peacocks were mean birds and that we should sing PIZZA...I want to eat some PIZZA..ZA..ZA..ZA.
When Ruby sings " Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me"...I throw up in my mouth..SILENTLY curse Rhianna...and wish for the days that we happily and without fear listened to THE WIGGLES. I have nothing for that one.
Sad, but songs, siblings, potty mouthed moms, TV , U-tube, i-phones etc are influencing our kids language in many ways. Just BE AROUND to redirect the fall out and be selective if you can to what the children are exposed to in their world. That said...It's impossible to shelter the 4 and 5 year olds exposure from the 10 and 13 year olds world. I just do my best prevention and even more important ...my best damage control..
STAR F_CK?? REALLY?? THAT MAKES
Ruby casually says" So mom, today I was at K's house ( BFF) with Darby and we were all dancing to that Justin Bieber song...you know..the one that goes..baby,babyoohh......Anyway mom, the Chipmunks were singing it instead of Justin Bieber and they sang 'STAR F_ _ _K' in the song."
I choked on a cucumber but calmly told her that it would be highly unlikely that either Justin Bieber or Alvin,Theodore and Simon would say F_ _ K.
"Really mommy, they say 'STAR F_ _ K'." Says Darbs in her casual 4 year old way.
Chloe came downstairs at the end of the conversation and trying desperately to stifle her laughter calmly told them that the word in question was STAR STRUCK.
The two little girls looked at each other and laughed. They told Chloe that STAR STRUCK didn't make any sense.
Ahhhh but STAR F_ _K does?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
The minds of kids are fascinating. How could I get mad? They were just repeating what they THOUGHT they heard.
It was a learning/teaching point. I pointed out that the F -word was a "not nice" word that no decent Chipmunk or teeny bop singer would EVER use...especially in a little girl dance song. Then we listened to it. Then I told them what star struck meant in the context of the song.
They were satisfied and I was left wondering why they didn't think the Chipmunks were singing "STARBUCKS".
Bad word are a part of our society and we'd be naive to think that our kids won't hear them... in the home.. on TV.. on the school playground .. from older siblings... from cranky post call moms (oops) .. from songs like those featured on the HIP HOP sat radio station ( TURN IT OFF CHLOE!!).
It depends on how your child USES them that will pick the parenting skill to end the use of FOUR LETTER WORDS. And..I don't mean whether or not he uses them in a grammatically correct way.
If a child is saying a bad word over and over for effect, then the best thing you can do is ignore it. Well, and disguise it in public.."Really that's his word for TRUCK".
Ignoring the behavior will cause it to extinguish. Simple to say...hard to do.
Kids that just say it because they've overheard it can just be told very openly that "BAD WORDS" are words that people should NOT use and that you don't want the child to use those words. Avoid if you can, going through the "George Carlin" list of bad words. I think this would do more damage than good.
Also, be honest. Tell them what the word is "slang" for and give them other options. " SH_T, means poo-poo and I'd rather you tell mommy you have to POO-POO than SH_T. This unsolicited advice is aged based obviously.
Liza asked me a few years ago if she could ask Santa for a "Disco Stick". You know the one in the lady GaGa song ( I wanna take a ride on your disco stick). I calmly explained that Lady G was indeed using the word "Disco Stick" to mean PENIS. I told her that I would NOT expect her to get on Santa's lap and ask for a "Disco Stick" for this reason. SHE WAS MORTIFIED. She thanked me for telling her and turned the station whenever the song came on.
Clearly, I reserve such blunt explanation when listening to Darby sing " I want to touch your Peacock..Cock..Cock.." THANKS KATY PERRY I just told her that Peacocks were mean birds and that we should sing PIZZA...I want to eat some PIZZA..ZA..ZA..ZA.
When Ruby sings " Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me"...I throw up in my mouth..SILENTLY curse Rhianna...and wish for the days that we happily and without fear listened to THE WIGGLES. I have nothing for that one.
Sad, but songs, siblings, potty mouthed moms, TV , U-tube, i-phones etc are influencing our kids language in many ways. Just BE AROUND to redirect the fall out and be selective if you can to what the children are exposed to in their world. That said...It's impossible to shelter the 4 and 5 year olds exposure from the 10 and 13 year olds world. I just do my best prevention and even more important ...my best damage control..
STAR F_CK?? REALLY?? THAT MAKES
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
unsolicited pediatric advice: Getting SOME for the computer DUMB
unsolicited pediatric advice: Getting SOME for the computer DUMB: "First Blog I think. It's 2:30 AM and the third quiet hour I've had in 5 days. I've wanted to do this 'blog' forever but I didn't know a thin..."
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Getting SOME for the computer DUMB
First Blog I think. It's 2:30 AM and the third quiet hour I've had in 5 days. I've wanted to do this "blog" forever but I didn't know a thing about blogging. Not sure still.
I'm doing it to create a place where parents can feel comfortable asking a pediatrician advice about anything.
I'm blunt and I use foul language at times.
I've been in practice for over 13 years and have 4 daughters that I adore.
Questions about everything will be answered honestly and with humility and humor.
Your children are the most precious people in your life. Raising them well...with self esteem...will reward both your children and you.
I've seen too many parents raise their kids by the "status quo" because they think they are doing the right thing by listening to the media and ridiculous parenting guides that are based on parents ignoring their natural instincts in order to make THEIR life easier.
I'm here to empower parents to make decisions that draw upon the parent's natural instinct to nurture and enjoy their child.
I'm doing it to create a place where parents can feel comfortable asking a pediatrician advice about anything.
I'm blunt and I use foul language at times.
I've been in practice for over 13 years and have 4 daughters that I adore.
Questions about everything will be answered honestly and with humility and humor.
Your children are the most precious people in your life. Raising them well...with self esteem...will reward both your children and you.
I've seen too many parents raise their kids by the "status quo" because they think they are doing the right thing by listening to the media and ridiculous parenting guides that are based on parents ignoring their natural instincts in order to make THEIR life easier.
I'm here to empower parents to make decisions that draw upon the parent's natural instinct to nurture and enjoy their child.
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